Sunday, June 17, 2012

To my Father - Benny Koyama Pangelinan

Treasured Moments - The love you gave so willingly

 Father, dad... I miss you! As I sit and write on this day, our day, I recall the memories of the love and laughter we had shared throughout the years.

I know we have not been the best of friends, we separated and have become incognizant to what's more important in our lives, that is the time we have lost. When I write this, I am tearing, only because I only wanted more from you. I wanted a relationship that we could share openly, but maybe this is what our lord played out for us. It is no wonder that I have become the man I am, so giving, so trusting, let alone eager to share my life with those that I hold close to my heart. I can see now that the I have learned this from you.

I miss you dad, and although you are thousands of miles away, I know you are thinking of me as I am thinking of you on this day. You cannot imagine how grateful I am for all that you have done to showing me, teaching me life, although you stepped back and watch me fall and pick myself up, you never really stayed too far.

My memory recalls a particular moment, I believe I was 3-4 years old. We spent a family day at the beach, Royal Taga beach, I was too afraid to get in the water, but you followed me down despite the blazing heat, you sat on the shore and with your legs made a protective barrier, a pool for me to swim in. I remember enjoying enjoying myself only because I felt safe. You sheltered me from my fears, you did that not just for me, but for all my siblings. I thank you for that.

My dear father, I am sorry for not being there for you as well. I am sorry for not being the son who lived up to your expectations, but know this, the traits you have instilled in me has made me who I am today. There is no doubt in my mind that your influence gave me the motivation and determination I needed to move and progress in this world. The passion to care and love my family and the patience to understand the things around me.

Dad, I love you and I wish you could see this, and maybe one day, I hope sooner than later, we may strengthen our bonds and share what we have missed over the years.

 Your son,

 Wayne

6 comments:

1nce a week... said...

i don't know much stories before i was born..you need to share more about it please..and if u can recall memories of visiting grandma at the time. :) nice to hear your stories from the past.

Fatherly Love said...

Brother, with Grandma, I dont recall anything. Sad but true. Now with Dad, as much as you know him when growing up, he did the same for all of us. No doubt he was more than what I said.

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Just a simple man who loves and cares for his family. Personal views with life in general, business and challenges in the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands. Sharing what we have through publications BISON Relations push out for everyone to keep abreast of what's happening in our beloved island home, Saipan.