I'd Sacrifice All that I am for my Family!


They make me laugh, they make me smile, they make me angry at times and sad as well, but that is life that everyone endures it, but shared most in our household is the love for each other. The kindness and opened hearts that are seen freely within the halls, the rooms and walls that hold our secrets.

My family has become the pinnacle of feelings and emotions that coarse through my veins. the very root of expressing what is felt each day.

My wife Boni has taught me so much in the last 5 years together. She inspires me to to better, be a better father to our children, step up to making best choices for our children and more importantly she has taught me to love without hesitation, to love with conviction, to love with genuine honesty.

Boni is the stronghold of our family. no matter how I may look at situations, its her guidance with the soft heart that makes any day a better day.

She is loved and cherished by our children and of course my love for her is more than I have ever imagined. She is perfect in my eyes and that is why I married this woman to share my remaining years on earth.

CNMI has many things to be thankful for. The people that make a difference, the season of giving is upon us and all the while, we are in spirit of good.

Tops + More brings you our 6th issue making yet another seasonal publication hit the CNMI. from foods to stories that make our CNMI whole, we at Bison Relations express our heartfelt appreciation to our clientele as well to our advertisers who keep this publication moving forward.

We bid you all good reading!

Tops + More 6th Issue

FORGIVENESS

Marriage Encounter truly is a blessing in disguise!

Learning about anger and forgiveness has opened my heart and mind to the variations of feelings that I would not have known if not for Marriage Encounter's Steeper STEPS program. The best thing about it is its free and you only need to commit to the days and time required to complete it.

I can tell you it taught me more that I can imagine.  The bible parables, movies to watch and books to read truly had an impact on how I view people and their actions towards me and with themselves.

Sometimes you feel sad when going through these phases of life, but how can you not forgive? How can you not say "I forgive you?" without truly closing the hatch and leaving it behind. Hmm, that is for you too find out, but for now, I am still going through the Steeper STEPS and loving it!

Our CNMI Worldwide Marriage Encounter offers more than just a weekend, it allows you to explore your marriage deeper than just saying I DO! It isn't built to fix broken marriages, but enhance what is beautiful and good to making even greater. I am all for M.E. and you should too!

I Forgive You!

Last Saturday, in the wee morning hours, my truck that was out for sale was broken into.  Shattered glass everywhere, scattered paper and emptied compartments looked as if a tornado formed inside the truck and devastated the look and feel of what I had built for comfort.

These thieves who took off with not only my pride and other valuables, but also took my security in that our island home offered many years ago. The security in which our safety was not even an issue, you left things unlocked and with trust beholding upon every man, woman and child in the Commonwealth, we were safe.

What is it with these thieves, I only can ask god that he have pity on their souls come salvation. What you took and what you damaged is only but material and I forgive you. May you see better times in your life and find the goodness in your heart to look beyond yourself and give penance for your sins.

I leave this ordeal with a clear heart and surprisingly, from what I have learned, I feel good about myself.  Thank you lord to ensuring your teachings are made available for your common man.

To my Father - Benny Koyama Pangelinan

Treasured Moments - The love you gave so willingly

 Father, dad... I miss you! As I sit and write on this day, our day, I recall the memories of the love and laughter we had shared throughout the years.

I know we have not been the best of friends, we separated and have become incognizant to what's more important in our lives, that is the time we have lost. When I write this, I am tearing, only because I only wanted more from you. I wanted a relationship that we could share openly, but maybe this is what our lord played out for us. It is no wonder that I have become the man I am, so giving, so trusting, let alone eager to share my life with those that I hold close to my heart. I can see now that the I have learned this from you.

I miss you dad, and although you are thousands of miles away, I know you are thinking of me as I am thinking of you on this day. You cannot imagine how grateful I am for all that you have done to showing me, teaching me life, although you stepped back and watch me fall and pick myself up, you never really stayed too far.

My memory recalls a particular moment, I believe I was 3-4 years old. We spent a family day at the beach, Royal Taga beach, I was too afraid to get in the water, but you followed me down despite the blazing heat, you sat on the shore and with your legs made a protective barrier, a pool for me to swim in. I remember enjoying enjoying myself only because I felt safe. You sheltered me from my fears, you did that not just for me, but for all my siblings. I thank you for that.

My dear father, I am sorry for not being there for you as well. I am sorry for not being the son who lived up to your expectations, but know this, the traits you have instilled in me has made me who I am today. There is no doubt in my mind that your influence gave me the motivation and determination I needed to move and progress in this world. The passion to care and love my family and the patience to understand the things around me.

Dad, I love you and I wish you could see this, and maybe one day, I hope sooner than later, we may strengthen our bonds and share what we have missed over the years.

 Your son,

 Wayne

Sometimes When...

There are times when you feel so alone. Even with loving family and friends, it is this unwarranted feeling that takes over. I guess you call it depression.  But mine doesn't stick so I say it's just a like being an outcast (for a while). Not knowing where you belong, how to fit in.

I want to write more, but I can't seem to get a handle on things today - as of now so to speak. Ughhh.  Another time then...

Curve Balls are Awesome!

Almost 4 years ago, I met her, she is awesome, beautiful, and intelligent. Who would have known that I was thrown a curve ball in life, usually I would strike out, but this was for sure a home run!

Year after year we build a strong and communicable relationship. Of course we had several bumps along the way, but I'd have to admit, as we age, I see her beauty come to perfection.

She will be celebrating her birthday two days from now. She wants nothing, but relaxation, I respect that knowing how hard she works, she deserves it!

         Dearest Honey:



It has been and will continue to be the greatest love I share with you. you are a remarkable person and I see you for the person you truly are. You share your love easily, you build up the man that I am, you treasure moments with our children, your kind and unselfish, your intelligent and by all means extremely beautiful and sexy.


As we grow together, know that I only wish for a lasting marriage. Our efforts and initiative to making this happen with that we are doing is working and without it, things would be rather different. I give my love to you knowing I get it in return ten folds. There is no doubt we were meant for each other.

Yes you Honey, I love you!

I love you more each day, your hubby,


Wayne

Moments like these are my treasure...

The early Sunday morn, January 29, 2012 - I turn 37 years old. Boni wakes and hugs me saying "happy birthday honey", I turn to her side, snug my face underneath her neck and chin and reply with the word thanks. She says she is going to brew coffee, my initial response was yes, I need that. Time to get up, face the day, a day I usually dread, but since with Boni, she has made my birthdays extraordinarily significant.

Well, it isn't a day I usually celebrate, for many reasons, I choose not too, its actually a depressing day for most of my life, again, until Boni has come into my life, things have definitely changed. I am grateful!

Ok, the day was planned by my wife, she had a lunch date with the family, made apple pie (mmm-mmm my favorite), dinner with people we love at home with home cooked meals, again something I enjoy much- cooking.

She was lovely, she took everything slow and showed me the caring and loving woman she is. She teaches the children on our outing about behavior and eating properly to feed based on needed nutrition. Her intent as with mine is to develop a healthier living habit for our children they can carry on in their lives. I support that and I dive in following the educational path we are to expose and instill in their young minds. We love them and this is why we do it.

In general, birthday blessings come from the heart and my family has shown just that. My father sends his best wishes, so does my siblings, my in-laws shared a moment at dinner making my day a special one to remember, my children state their love for me and I feel it - a true feeling can be felt even if words aren't spoken, my wife and her endearing qualities makes my worst days great! As such, my birthday is a hit each year since we have joined in union for and with our love and affection, I could not have asked for better moments like this.

Taken aback, my brother, Gerry sends me scanned photos of my past, well you can see for yourself, the children with me are Donny and Jayvier, little toddlers that have a whole lot ahead of them, if only they can concentrate..hahahha...Other photos were of the evening in sharing, oh how I love family time!

Our weekend was filled with activity, Nan and I went to celebrate her birthday at Hyatt, a father-daughter retreat, Saturday was a rest day, run a few errands and spend QT, Sunday my B-day and happiness from a great lunch at Mariana Resort & Spa to home cooked dinner celebration with the people I love. Wifey had her siblings at home for some great talks and family QT. Loving hugs and kisses from my daughters who came back fromt heir weekend with their dad.  Hope, Peyton and Sommer. Hope gave me yet another precious gift. I love my children. Ah yes, my son who is thousands of miles away sends his greeting via FB, such thoughtful children.

Got more greeting messages from my father, sisters, brothers and mom, such a lovely weekend and I would not trade that for anything. Hmmm, well-yeah nothing!

Reyes Familia sharing QT, Burrrrr! it was cold, but everyone was fashionably cool about it! Love them so much! 

Daddy and Som-som, I actually asked her what should I wish for, she said "good health for everyone" smart young lady!

Teenager, Wayannie blows her candle, I should have stepped in the photo as she asked me too, but I was busy taking it! Nevertheless she knows I love her. Hey wait, she had three cakes for her early b-day celebration... hmmmm so not fair! hahahha. Happy b-day Sweety!

Oh boy, brother Gerry sends these photos below, my past as a young father, still trying to get my footing on raising children, wait I still am... hahahaha, but now I have the greatest of partners in this, my wife. In this photo, Donny on my right and Jay on my left.

I dont remember this time zone, but I think I was still in High School and without children, gosh this is truly a flashback!

Boni would not have noticed my good looks and charm back then.... Ahem Nope she would have! hahahhaa!

Even further back! Auntie Beck and Auntie Mary are surrounded by myself and Pangelinan cousins.

Home sweet home, Susupe visit to the family. That's Donny with me! grumpy as usual. Sorry son, I had to post this! You'll thank me later when I'm gone.

Open it up, he is so excited can't you see.  hahahaha!